Christmas Gift Tradition

The Quiet Observer

When I was first married, I was amazed at the difference between how my family celebrated Christmas and how my husband’s family did things.

At my house, it was all about the food. Soon after the gifts were opened on Christmas morning, my mom, grandma, sister and I began preparing the meal. My Mom and Grandma were the best cooks ever and I learned so much from our holidays in the kitchen together.

Comparatively, Christmas at my in-laws was all about the gifts, and to me, everything seemed to be in S-L-O-W motion. Here’s how it went.

The first task on Christmas morning was to keep the kids out of the room where the Christmas tree was because certain gifts were purposely left unwrapped, and we didn’t want the kids to see them until we were ready with the cameras.

So we started the morning by steering the kids to the other room where the stockings were laid out by the fireplace. There was always one for everybody, adults and kids alike. Contents included the typical stuff like candy, mints, toothbrushes and Chapstick but also included scratch off lottery tickets. Those were a huge hit.

The tickets distracted the kids just long enough for the adults to grab a cup of coffee and set up the cameras in the other room. Then my mother-in-law would give the signal and the kids would come bursting through the door. That precise moment when the kids would enter the room and see all the gifts strategically placed around the glowing Christmas tree was absolutely priceless.

I’ll never forget one Christmas in particular when our son was about 8 years old and our daughter was 4. Our son had asked for a Michigan State college football jersey with his favorite player’s name on the back. My in-laws bought it for him and hung it over a chair in front of the Christmas tree. It was the first thing he saw when he came through the door. The look on his face is permanently seared into my brain. So cute!

After the “oohs” and “aahs” and squeals of delight over the unwrapped gifts subsided, it was time to start opening the wrapped gifts. When I was growing up, everyone tore into their gifts at the same time and the whole affair was over in about 5 minutes. Not so at my in-law’s house. Gift opening was a slow process that took hours to complete, even if we only had a few gifts.

First, an “elf” was designated. This person’s job was to hand out the gifts so that everyone had one in front of them at all times, until they were gone. Then someone was given the task of holding the trash bag for all of the discarded wrapping paper. For some reason, this task always went to my father-in-law.

Now here comes the shocking part. At least it was to me. Gifts were opened, one at a time and everybody took turns! This is why it took so long. One person would open a gift while everyone else watched, the gift would be held up for viewing and then my father-in-law would quietly appear and hold out the trash bag for the wrapping paper. Kids would play with whatever they opened for awhile and then somebody else would open a gift.

About half way through, we would stop for breakfast, and soon after, gift opening would resume. This went on for hours until all the gifts were unwrapped.

The whole time, my father-in-law would sit back and quietly observe the proceedings, watching his family open gifts and occasionally opening one himself. He never said much, just watched and giggled at the kids, then he would slowly walk around the room with that trash bag, stuffing it full of torn up wrapping paper.

For the past 25 years we have followed the same process on Christmas mornings at my in-law’s house. This year we have a dilemma. Our trash bag holder, my father-in-law- the-quiet-observer, passed away in May after a 3 year battle with colon cancer.

I’m not sure if he ever grasped the importance of the Christmas morning ritual that he and my mother-in-law established when his grand kids were little, but it will be cherished for years to come. Although he will be missed dearly, we will hold on to what he taught us about family, life and love. Remember to take things slowly and be “present” in every moment.

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